Bibleline Radio Show – 2011-08-09 – How To Love Your Wife Pt.2


Transcription:

This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.

Bibleline Bibleline, here God’s Word on Bibleline, everywhere, every time. Here God’s truth on Bibleline. Welcome to Bibleline with Dr. Ralph Yankee Arnold, pastor of Calvary Community Church in Tampa, Florida. Clearly declaring the gospel of Jesus Christ through the radio and the Internet. Your regular prayers and monthly support make it possible for Bibleline to continue on the air. You can reach us to all the people who are here. You can reach us toll free at 1-800-576-3771. Online donations may be made through the Bibleline website at calvaryoftappa.org.

We pray that you’ll enjoy our commitment to the clear gospel of Jesus Christ and that today’s concluding message of this teaching will be a blessing to you and your family. Did you know you can live with somebody for 25 years? Never even know who they are. I’ve had people that I’ve talked to and they say, Yankee, I know your motive. I know why you did this. And I know why you did that. And I know why you did that.

And I’ll have to look at them and say this with all the sincerity in my heart. You don’t know me. You see me, but you don’t know me. I wouldn’t do what you’re thinking. And what you say is my motive isn’t my motive. You think you know me, but you don’t know me. There’s people who have trusted Christ as their Savior. They have eternal life. They’re going to heaven when they die. And many do not know their father. They spend no time with him.

They really don’t know him. If you go to bed every night, worryin’, fretting, you don’t pray, you don’t know your dad. You don’t know him. You don’t really know what he’s like. That’s why when you read the first John, so much deals with the fellowship between you and your heavenly father. And he says, you don’t know me. don’t know me. To know Him is to love Him. And if you don’t love Him, you don’t know Him. And if you love Him, you will serve Him.

And that’s why He says, how can you say you love Me whom you have not seen and you cannot love others whom you do see? So there’s a lot of these things that people need to understand. I wonder if it’ll read this to you. Because Each little story trying to give you an insight into something that might be going on in your own life, your own marriage. Because don’t take it lightly. Your marriage is very important to God. Now, let me just throw this to you.

We often make this statement that marriage is a commitment. It is a commitment. But commitment to what? You see, when you study the Word of God and you know the role of the husband and the role of the wife, so the woman needs to know the Word of God so she’ll know the role of her responsibilities. And the man studies the Word of God so he knows his responsibilities. What kind of a husband is he going to be? What kind of a wife is she going to be?

So a man and a woman, when they get married, they’re committing themselves to fulfill those responsibilities. His as a husband and a father. Hers as a wife and a mother. And they commit themselves to those roles, that position that God’s given. So whenever they get married, she knows her responsibility. He knows His and He made a promise of vow, a commitment unto God to do certain things. And I don’t believe that many people understand that when they got married, what they did, if we only knew.

We can’t go back. We can only go from here forward. A lot of things can never be undone. But I do believe you should look at your marriage, your mate, and say that I am committing myself to my responsibility, to role of the husband God gave to me. Doesn’t matter what she does. And she ought to commit herself to that role that God gave, doesn’t matter what he does, and fulfill that responsibility. And God will reward you in heaven, and God will bless you.

Now, it’s wonderful when both submit themselves to the Lord And keep that commitment that they made. And it’s not based upon feeling. It’s based upon fact. What does God want me to do? And so there are responsibilities. And if I will do what God says do, then I can expect God to bless like He said He would. I am not an expert on marriage. I don’t know anybody who is. I’ve been married over 51 years, so I have an idea what works and what don’t work.

a lot of people. I have a few little ideas here and there. Supposed to love each other and care for another and we’re supposed to keep our word. A scotman. A scotman. He wanted to save some money. So you see the dentist and he says how much for you to extract? He says $85. That’s a lot of money. He says, can I get it cheaper? He said, well, we could leave off the Novocaine. He says, what would I say, $15?

He said, but it’s going to hurt. Well, that’s all right. What if we had it done by a student instead of you? Could you cut down a little bit because the students need to be trained to? He said, well, yeah, yeah. He says, well, what exactly? He said, maybe you’d like to do it for $40, but remember, he’s not going to be as professional. But I think we could work at ISA. He said, well, what I’d use it as a training tool and let others come in and they could watch and see POLITICO be a training for the students.

He said, that’s a good idea. He said, well, what would I call it? He said, get down to $5. He said, he said, not that. He said, not yet talking, not yet talking. He says, I want to confirm an appointment time next week for my wife. Do you sense the compassion? Like it’s one girl she said to another, she says, you know, boys are all alike. She says, boys are all I like too. You got a couple things I wanted to say to you.

Have you heard anybody today trying to change the meaning of the word marriage? It’s supposed to include if two women want to get married or two homosexual men want to get married? And you know, it doesn’t matter anymore, marriage. But see, governments not supposed to enter into that arena. That’s none of their business. You see, in the beginning God made the man, God made the woman, God brought them together and says they shall cleave unto each other. God made marriage.

Marriage is a Christian word. It’s a biblical word. It’s a religious term. And government has no right to give it another definition except what’s in the Bible. And it’s a man and a woman. You can’t have a marriage any other way. Nothing else is a marriage. I don’t care if they don’t like it or not. God’s the one who designed this. So how do you oppose to treat your husband? Just pretend that your husband is the Lord. You say, really?

When you married him, he was perfect. Remember that? Oh, he’s perfect. He’s just what I’ve been looking for. Well, what you mean he’s not now? Either if he was then, he still probably is. He’s probably the same way. He ain’t changed much. And what you used to love about them, you begin to turn against it, because here’s what usually happens. Boy, girl, I like you. I like you too. I’ll give you these flowers.

And all she has to do is just look in front of the eyes and hello big boy. And then these two have conned each other and they’re thinking that they were perfect for each other. And they believe that. So they get joined together and holy dead luck. Red luck. So now they’re married together. Now instead of them, still, I’ll do this for you. Oh, I’ll do this for you. I’ll do this for you. I’ll do this for you. I’ll do this to you and you do this to me.

See, it proports. Instead of you want to do and give, now it’s receiving. So you’re waiting to treat me like a king. Well, before you didn’t worry about that, you just treated her like a queen. And you didn’t worry about, treat me like a queen. You just always, I’m gonna treat you like a king. See, the focus has changed after a while. The devil does that. The devil wants to destroy your home. And he does it by turning things around.

But he’s so good, he’s so deceptive. He does it without you even knowing that it’s taking place. You see, like say, there’s the Lord. Are you supposed to love the Lord? Yeah. Are you supposed to submit to the Lord? Well, yes. Are you supposed to just do what he’s got? Are you supposed to communicate with God? Well, yes. Well, let’s just pretend your husband was the Lord. You pose a love, honor, obey. Don’t you remember those words? You see, I’ve been trying to forget them ever since.

And then don’t you communicate? How in the world did you ever get married? Oh, we’re never talk. You talk all the time, you talk, you shared. And you said this and she said that and now just get along and everything was just one good way to get together again and talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Now you’re married. You said you’re on watch TV all night. Never talk. And you never do anything together. Well, because you’re bored stiff because you got to have something bigger than yourself.

More important than your marriage. And that is the purpose that you have in life. You see, if the guy’s going in circles, just where she’s going to go in circles, because if he doesn’t have a destination, she doesn’t have a destination. It will, it doesn’t matter. It will matter. It always matters. So the girls should never date a guy. She would not consider for marriage. So that’s why a girl should always try to find that guy that knows the Lord and loves the Lord and wants to serve the Lord and is Serving the Lord not a promise.

He will but he’s doing it He’s what you want because what you see might be the best he’ll ever be so whenever the girl gets into the car and The doors are locked and now you’re stuck in that marriage And you didn’t think about it before and then you want to get out of the car But if you don’t know what caused the problem, you’ll just simply get out of that car and get into the next one coming down the road.

You’ll just repeat it again and again and again. Because most people never figure out what caused the problems. So they have no solutions to the problems. I’m saying that it’s better to know what God wants you to do and serve the Lord and commit yourself to Him. So marriage, like I said, is a commitment to the role that God has given to a person. And that means that as the man, I committed myself years ago to be the best husband my wife could have ever gotten.

I would hate to think that my wife could have come along and found a better husband than I had been. I want to be the best husband my wife could have ever gotten. I would hate to think that another man could have treated my wife better than what I did. Because I owe it to her. I promise God that. Now, if a man doesn’t feel that way about his wife, something’s wrong with him. He’s not a good catch for the next one if he can’t do it with the one he has.

That’s how he’s supposed to love. You say, well, she doesn’t let me. I’m not interested in that. You fulfill yours. Most times a woman will respond. Let me give you an illustration. For example, God has made all kinds of animals with different kinds of abilities to defend themselves. There’s one kind of animal, it’s called a skunk. Now how does a skunk defend itself? When you get too close or that skunk feels threatened, he has a unique way of spraying with perfume.

stinks the high heaven. That smell, that stinking smell is to protect the skunk. He can drive away those that may want to do at harm. When you married that little jewel, that little angel, that little sweet thing, and then later on in marriage she becomes this little monster, mean, hateful, ugly, argumentative, and yelling, and screaming, and all that. Wait a minute. Why is she doing that now? She’s just like that skunk that’s trying to protect itself. It’s a defense because a woman doesn’t want to be like that, but it’s a way of driving away as much as possible the attack that the man has already probably previously demonstrated by being mean and ugly and unkind or verbal abuse or not fulfilling his God-given responsibilities as the right kind of a husband.

And she puts up this barrier because she doesn’t want to get hurt anymore. Most men are hurting their marriage. And they don’t even know how they’re doing it. Because they’re not kind and communicating with their wife and saying words like, I love you and forgive me or I’m sorry. They become strong and dominating and think they can rule with a rod of ironer with a bull whip and they’re mean and ugly and unkind. That’s not what God says to do.

That’s not God’s way. God doesn’t want it to happen like that. After being married for 40 years, this man, he looks at his wife and he says, honey, you remember when we got married, we had an old jalape, we lived in an old run-down house, slept on the sofa, didn’t have much to eat, didn’t make much money, but every night I got to go to bed with a 23-year-old chick. She looked at him and she says, you can still have that 23-year-old chick.

And I’ll see to it that you have that old jalapia again. And I’ll see to it that you still live in that old rundown house. And I’ll see that you don’t have much to eat. Isn’t it wonderful that a woman knows how to deal with a man’s ego? You see, there’s always another side to it. You’d be surprised how many women would love to have a man that really loves him Because see there’s certain things that you’re supposed to be aware of one is protection and So I know that I’m supposed to protect my wife I’m supposed to protect her against things Mentally how she thinks I want my wife to be a spiritual godly wife So therefore I need to be careful what I say and what I do because the last person that I want to hurt or offend Is not the people in this church?

You’re important to me. I love y’all But I don’t love you like I love my wife. I Love my children But I don’t love my children like I love my wife So see I had my wife the kids come the kids go But I still want my wife and when we get to the top of the mountain, I don’t want to be there alone I want to have her with me because see we done gone through all these rough spots all these bumps in the road and all these hardships and trials and so forth and yet there been many of them and there were Trail of tears But there’s also been a lot of joy but you want to look down the road and You want to be together because see there come the time when when you get 70 years old Who in the world wants a 70-year-old man?

Don’t get stupid. Or a 70-year-old woman, except the one that you ride with. Stay with. Love until death do us part. And love that woman like you should. And God will bless you for doing so. And yes, you might suffer a little bit. But the suffering, God says, he’ll reward you when you get to heaven. and it’ll be worth it. And so I believe that it’s an important thing. There’s three little words that I like to just throw out at you.

See, these three words is, is explosion, tears. I’ll cover those first. See, in every family, they’re usually both under two kinds of wars. And one is the explosion. where everything is hollering and yelling and screaming at each other. Now, you tell me, if a man or a woman is hollering and yelling and screaming at each other, are those the fruits of the spirit or the works of the flesh? Think it through. Is that spirit or flesh? That’s flesh. That means that you’re not being spirit controlled.

It means it’s not of God. That means it’s wrong. See, God didn’t give us justification to become ugly and mean and unkind to our mate. Whatever the reasons. The man is hell-responsible for the home, whether we wanted or not. That’s the role that you accepted it. Now live up to it. Be a man. Be a man. Forfill your responsibility. Take your eyes off them young chicks running around. And look at your wife and say, have I been a good husband?

Have I been a good husband? Have I been what my wife needed? Do I know how to meet the spiritual needs of my wife? Because see, the one thing that I wanted, more than anything else in the world, and like I said, I may love all of y’all and I want everybody to have a ministry, but I want my wife one day to stand before the Lord and I want God to reward her. I want to see God say Betty coming up here.

Let me show you what I got for you just for putting up with that guy. Look at this. I want her to be so honored. And so, Bled, you see, I want her to have a ministry just like I want people to have ministries. You see, it’s great when a man and a woman can work together for the Lord, for the Lord’s work. And to know that your wife is supportive in helping you. She has to be a help, meet, help to meet your desires that God has for you and your purpose and your goal.

old, but see when the man doesn’t have anything, what’s the woman supposed to do? When a man won’t do what he’s supposed to do, I’d like to take him out behind a woodshed and beat him half to death, what I like to do. Because life is too short. A woman should have a man that seeks to want to help his wife, to love his wife, to please his wife, so that she can enjoy life. When you look at your wife’s face, that’s a countenance that’ll tell you an awful lot about what’s going on and you want the best for her and that’s what the book says.

I think that’s what God wants us to do. You see so they can be this explosion and there’s also the time that’s the quiet, the silent. The silence is when you just don’t even talk. That usually happens with people when they get older. When you’re younger you explode but after why you find out that doesn’t getting you where so you just don’t say nothing and older folks get to where They don’t even communicate anymore. And this is what drives them apart just as much as the other.

My wife and I taught, we talk all the time. We work together in ministry all the time. I have tried to see through it that throughout the years, when we didn’t have hardly anything at all. And all we had was a car at one point. We didn’t have anything. My wife has never had to work. We’d do without. But I can’t have her with a dream of her own. And then I’ve got mine. And then I enjoyed when I come home to walk into that house.

And my wife to say, honey, why don’t you come over here and sit in the lounge chair? Sit down here honey. Let me go get you a hot cup of coffee and I’ll go fix something to eat. And here’s the evening newspaper and you can sit and read your newspaper. Ah, isn’t that wonderful. Mmm. Or you can come home and you’re both been working all day. you come home and you’re tired, you’re irritable, and you walk into the house, and you would give me a cup of coffee.

Get it yourself. I want this as hard as you have all day long. Where we having to eat? I have no clue. Why don’t you fix it once in a while? It’s your turn. Listen, you can go through that and love all that if you want to, but I don’t think that’s the way God designed it. I would rather do without and make sure I protect my wife. She does only what she really wants to do with my approval and she can do as much as she wants, but she does what pleases her husband.

And it’s worked for 51 years. And I know what the economy of the way it is today. Sometimes people say, well, we both have to work to make the big, all right, you overextended yourself years ago. Now you’re stuck, but be patient with each other, be kind still to each other. If you have to do a little, God bless you, God bless you. I’ll do this. You did this. Okay. That’s fine. And to be sweet and loving, forgiving, compassionate.

Don’t you think God would be pleased with that? Or do you think that being mean and ugly and unkind is the will of God? If you were like that before and you leave that man because of that and then you marry another guy, you’ll do it all over again. See, it’s inside of you, it’s the way you are. Do right, serve a learn. You see, the other emotion between the silence and the explosion is that one that’s kind of like right in the middle.

The weaker vessel, the tears. You see, generally, at the beginning of a marriage, when a woman gets hurt, she cries easily, because she’s tender. God made her like that. But you see when the tears don’t cause you to soften and to be flexible, then Don DeRoe does tears in that quiet spirit which she’s supposed to have will turn into a defense and she’s going to rebel. She’ll only take it for so long. And the mean and the ugliness that comes from that scum to defend itself, you might look in the mirror and realize I did that.

I did that to my wife. I was wrong. I believe a lot of the time men need a tolerance to their wives for the way they treat them and get it corrected and be a godly man, a loving man. God will honor you for doing that. I have no clue if I help anybody. I’ll say what’s on my heart. You can do with it whatever you want. But I try to help people. I’m trying to help you. Well, I didn’t need that this morning.

You might need it tomorrow. I had some people tell me, I should have heard that 20 years ago. This man represent you and me. While it represents sin, we all have sin on us. Now God says that he loves us. He hates our sin. And for us to pay for sin is eternal separation from God in a place called hell. But God loves us and wants us to go to heaven. And to go to heaven, we have to be perfect as righteous as God.

And none of us are perfect. None of us are righteous. We’ve all done things wrong. But God loves us. And God says, you cannot save yourself, you cannot earn or work your way to heaven. This hand represents Jesus Christ, He’s the Lord God in the flesh. He came into the world because He loves us so much. Our sin separates us from Him. So Jesus Christ who had no sin didn’t have to die. He took hours, paid for it on the cross, came back from the dead.

the dead. And God said, if you and I would believe He did it for us, He would put this payment He made to our account and we get to go to heaven on what Jesus Christ did for us. Let’s pray, shall we? Every headbound, every eye closed, no one looking around. If you’re here this morning and you’ve never trusted Christ as your Savior, want to just talk to the Lord and say something simple like this, Lord, I know I’m a sinner.

I don’t understand at all, but I believe Christ died, paid for my sins and I will trust Him as my Savior. And friend, if you’ll do that, God said He would save you, give you eternal life and you can know that you’re going to heaven when you die. I pray that you will. Just right where you are. God knows who you are. Just be honest, Lord, I’m a sinner. Friend, we all are. Christ died for you. Pay for everything we’ve ever done.

There’s no perfect individuals here. There’s no perfect marriages. We all struggle. There’s a lot of ups and downs. We often offend each other. The Lord says, offenses will come. We hurt one another. We say things we shouldn’t say. We’re cutting sometimes. We say hurtful things. Sometimes by our actions or by our looks. And sometimes we just say, it doesn’t really matter. And we don’t know what is going on in the lives of the ones that we promise to love.

Our Father, we ask Your blessings upon each person here. I pray, Lord, You will to be done. If You’re here this morning, you’ve never trusted the Lord. And you say, yes, I will. If you never trust the Lord, what you do right now? If you have trusted Christ as your Savior, you know your God’s child. How’s the thing going between you and your wife? Maybe this message was for somebody in particular, I don’t know. When’s the last time you told your husband you really loved him?

Or told your wife he loved her? When’s the last time you really embraced and says, honey, I’m sorry for what I’ve done or what I said? Father, thank you for this time together, for your word, and we ask Lord your blessings upon the service. For each thing that each person has heard and how the Holy Spirit will take and drive into their hearts and minds. We ask your blessings upon the service tonight. And Lord, I thank you for this church, and these good people in Christ’s name, amen.

You’ve been listening to Bibleline, a teaching ministry of Calvary Community Church in Tampa, Florida with Dr. Ralph Arnold. We pray that you were blessed by today’s message. If you have enjoyed our commitment to the clear gospel of Jesus Christ, you can reach Bibleline and pledge your support to keep us on the air in your area by dialing toll free 1-800-576-3771. That’s 1-800-576-3771. If you wish to hear today’s program again or would like to download a free MP3 of today’s or any previous Bibleline program, go to BibleLineMinistries.org and click on the spinning globe in the upper right corner of our homepage.

If you’re in the area, we welcome you to visit us. The address for Calvary Community Church is 4811 George Road, Tampa, Florida, 33634. Our Sunday morning services begin at 1030 and at 6 o’clock on Sunday evening. broadcast of our services may be seen by going to our church website, Calvary of Tampa.org. Thanks for joining us on Bible Live. And now a closing thought from Pastor Arnold. Friend, one day it will happen. The trumpet will sound. We will be changed.

Caught up to meet the Lord in the air. So live today and every day, Believing that the Lord is coming soon and just keep looking up