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Bibleline Bibleline, here God’s Word on Bibleline, everywhere, every time. Here God’s truth on Bibleline. Welcome to Bibleline with Dr. Ralph Yankee Arnold, pastor of Calvary Community Church in Tampa, Florida. Clearly declaring the Gospel of Jesus Christ through the radio and the internet. Your regular prayers and monthly support make it possible for a Bibleline to continue on the air. You can reach us toll free at 1-800-576-3771. Online donations may be made by clicking on the donations link on the BibleLineMinistries.org homepage.

We pray that you will enjoy our commitment to the clear gospel of Jesus Christ and that today’s concluding message of this teaching will be a blessing to you and your family. We don’t always have parents that do what they’re supposed to do. I wish that I could go back and redo some of the things that I’ve done when I was young in the Lord. But I didn’t see how it’s supposed to be, and I didn’t always make the right decisions.

I think I could do a better job the second time around, but we don’t get that second choice. It’s one trip through, and we do the best we can. Let me give you this. Love is the foundation for marriage and must be the basic concept for marriage. The mental love attitude in marriage finds many areas of expressions, such as our conversation, our graciousness, our companionship, and our physical intimacy. It’s because of love. For example, a man and a woman, they can be married in the physical relationship, but not be happy because the love’s not there.

Sin abounds when love waxes cold. There’s two kinds of wars that we are accustomed to. It’s called the hot war and the cold war. The hot war is when things are not exactly right and so we just verbally, we holler, yell, and shout and threatening all of us. All right, that’s a hot war. You see what they don’t last very long, and I get it off my chest, and I feel so much better. Oh yeah, shotgun blasts don’t last long either, but it sure does a lot of damage.

Now there’s the other kind, it’s the silent treatment, the Cold War. We often talk about the Cold War we had with Russia, but there’s a lot of Cold War’s going in on a lot of homes. The cold war is where they just don’t speak to each other. Or one don’t speak to the other. Just give the cold treatment. Like I didn’t hear you. I didn’t even see you. Nothing goes right. And you become bitter and critical on everything that’s said and done.

And then they look for every flaw. The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. I’ve told people to look. You don’t look and see with both eyes. Just see with one eye. Here would one ear. Don’t always be looking for everything that can go wrong. Don’t look for all the faults and the flaws. A man marries a woman because of the way she is. And he wants her just like that to stay. Don’t change. And she marries him.

But I’ll change him the way I want him. And it doesn’t work. You accept each other the way they are. Remember the vow when you took those vows for better or for and a lot of time it gets worse. But what was the vow? What did you promise? I love you and I’ll honor you until death do us part. For better or for worse, richer or for poor. So how many wives can you have? 16, 4 rich, 4 poor, 4, 6, 4, just one.

One will do. But it’s for better or for worse, richer or for poor. Sickness and in health. You see, those are things that we say and we promise. God is the one who is watching over every marriage. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. He knows everyone who’s vowed and promised. This is what the children need, and the husband needs to treat the wife the way he’s supposed to treat the wife. Because the kids need to see how they’re supposed to treat their wife when they get married by watching how daddy treats his wife.

And that little girl she needs to know how mama obeys her husband so that when she gets married She don’t know how she’s pulled the tree to her But see if all they see is holler in the yelling and fighting and fuming and fussing and all the rest of them You’re training them. That’s how you solve your problems. They’re learning from you now I Believe that God has placed Then is the word of God The man is to be the head of the body See, I’ve only got one body up here.

I only got one head. Now, if I had two heads, I’d be a freak. Marriage only has one head. God holds the head, the man, as the head of the home, responsible for the home. Your wife is a mirror or a reflection of how you’re doing. If she’s not happy, the man needs to look in the mirror. He got to figure out how to meet not only the physical needs, material need, financial needs, but the spiritual needs of the wife because if she’s not happy, he won’t be happy.

Nobody’s gonna be happy because she is the mirror, the reflection of the harmony, the peace, the joy, the love of the home. She is what reflects to others his leadership and her submissive. So it goes but wait. So the man has got to try to make sure that when you choose to marry somebody, you choose somebody that knows the Lord and wants to serve the Lord. Because if she doesn’t want to serve the Lord, she’s not going to make a good wife in yielding and understand that.

If, for example, you want to honor the Lord, then the woman must honor her head. must honor her husband. She must be obedient to her husband. Now I’m not talking about where the man gets out the bull with and he whips. I’m the boss. I’m the dictator. Everybody that’s what I say. If you have to do that you’re not fit to lead. If you can’t lead by loving them you’re not fit to lead. And I can see why a lot of women rebel against their husbands because their husbands aren’t fit to obey.

They’re not obeying the head over them, which is Christ, because they’re supposed to set the right example in forgiveness and compassion and mercy and understanding. Majority of men do not understand their wives. They don’t know why they do what they do. I’ll have to admit, there’s a lot of there. And it’s hard, I know. But it takes the grace of God Not to see everything, not to hear everything. And there’s times when a woman’s moods can change like that.

No cause for it whatsoever. Or no man has ever found the cause. But you’ve got to understand, you’re supposed to be rock solid. You don’t get over excited and you don’t go around greatly depressed. A man who’s always depressed, always complaining, always down in the dumps is not going to be a good example to anybody. You’re supposed to have your confidence in the Lord and you know God is going to walk you through whatever it might be. Whatever the cares may be.

And you trust the Lord for that. Think of it by looking in the book of Romans in chapter 12. in chapter 12. We often use this verse for, you know, trying to challenge, motivate somebody to serve the Lord. But I want you to look at it from a little different point of view. Romans chapter 12 and look there in verse 1. Romans chapter 12 verse 1, where it says, I beseech you, therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Now look in verse 2. Now, if you are a woman, I want you to read this verse, and if you’re a man, I want you to read this verse because there’s something in here for both, where he says, be not conformed to this world. That means man or the wife to be conformed to this world. God wants the The man in God wants the wife to be conformed. To the word. So women, when you conform yourself to the word of God, you will learn to be obedient to God.

And if you’re obedient to God, you have to submit yourself to the husband that you married. You say, well, you ought to see what I married. Yeah, I know. I’ve seen a lot of that. Well, I just don’t trust his judgment. Well, I can see who we married. It’s hard to trust somebody that you don’t love. And so a man and a woman needs to understand, look, can God change both of you? It’s not the job of the man or the woman that change each other, but both should be conformed or changed as you grow in the Lord.

And if you grow in the Lord, you’ll grow closer to each other. My wife and I will be celebrating our 51st anniversary in another month. 51 year, that’s not forever I know, but it’s still a long time. It’s been a long time. You know what? There was this, this man was sitting there in his chair and his wife walked up to him and says, honey, this is our 50th anniversary. He said, I know, I know, I know. She looked close and realized he had tears in his eyes.

And she thought, this is so touching. She says, well, you got tears in your eyes, huh? You say, well, you remember that day 50 years ago when your dad stuck that shotgun in my ribs? He told me, either I married you or 50 years behind bars. She says, yeah, I remember that. She says, today I’ll be a free man. You have a wife. You have a husband. Love each other. forgive each other. Neither one of your perfect, are you?

It’s so easy to see the wrong and everybody else and not in ourselves. And the man doesn’t change the wife, he changes himself. If he will change himself, God can change that woman. All you do is just do right and trust the Lord and make sure you don’t try to give the other person reasons not to bend or to yield to the the Lord. And you pray, pray all the time, pray. Now look what he says here, be not conformed to this world but be it transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove or discover what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of the husband is, the will of God.

But it’s for the husband and it’s for the wife. Did you know that there is a perfect will of God for the husband and for the wife. God has laid down the roles and we’re like playing a part. God says, now, man, this is what you’re to do and why? That this is what you’re supposed to do. And if both will do what God says, dude, then you will be happier and you can learn to love each other and things can grow.

Things can be changed. Do things God’s way. Trust Him. Your husband is not God. He’s just a man. And he makes mistakes. You knew that before you married him. Didn’t you? You didn’t. You were naive. You know he does things wrong, but you loved them so much and they say love is blind yet, but marriage is an eye-opener. So your eyes have now been opened and now you see better. If I don’t own this, okay, you didn’t. But if you knew what God’s word says, can God heal and forgive.

Marriage is a commitment to each other. It’s not based upon feelings. Feelings come and go. You know, the day I feel like I’m married. Well tomorrow morning I go, you know, I don’t feel like I’m married today. Well I am. My wife will let me know that I am. Did you know that you can sit in a restaurant And my wife can have her back to the windows. And I can sit there and we’re looking at the menu and get ready to order.

And I can look at people all day long. But as soon as they go. My wife will turn completely around and she’ll look out there and she knew I just saw somebody I shouldn’t have saw. She can tell when I’m looking at somebody. Now I don’t never look at anybody for the land. But she can read you like a book. That woman knows you buddy. And the longer she lives, she just don’t trust me. Why? Because there’s so, see, the intuition of a woman is the transparency of man.

It means that a woman can see through us. And they are very sensitive. A woman likes security. She likes security. A man sometimes doesn’t think the same way that a woman does. a woman wants to hear the words, I love you. She wants to be touched. She wants to be praised. Big, you know, appreciate it. A man can go, I can go, I can go six months and not have to worry about it. He don’t say anything. I told you I love you when I married you.

If I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know. But a woman wants to hear it. You say, well, you know, given flowers, that’s not something I used to do. I gave her some flowers one time and she took the thing and she put it in a book and she had it there for about 20 years. And she opened it up when she said, yeah, there’s that flower you gave me 20 years ago. I said, well, whenever you get rid of that one, I’ll get you another one.

One day I really shocked her. I got her 42 roses on our 42nd anniversary, 42 roses. $42. I thought she was worth it. So you know, you got, there’s things that a woman likes, and she likes it when all the women like what the husband did for her. They like to brag. What I despise is going to somebody’s home and the man does all the cooking. You realize what that does to the average man. I don’t cook. I don’t even boil water.

And then here’s a guy that can do all of that stuff. And I thought, man, that’s just not right. So even though we can cook, I like to eat the cooking though. But I’ve never asked my wife to preach for me?” And so I told her, don’t ask me to cook for you. So when she gets not to feeling good, I just take her out to eat. When she gets really sick and all the dishes start getting, I said, don’t you worry about one of those dishes?

I said, they can just wait till you get well. Now some of you think I’m bad. I’m bad. There’s no woman that wants a husband like that. But see, you got to accept the person with some of their flaws. I’ve got a couple flaws. I haven’t found any in her. You see, there’s a verse in the Bible. If you will obey this verse in the Bible, it will add to the happiness of this life. And it’s in the Old Testament.

My wife told me all about it. It’s in the Hebrew. So husbands obey your wives and all things for this is right. Now I’ve never found that verse. She said it’s in there. But you really insincerity. You should, husbands, study the word of God and let God conform you to be the kind of a husband you ought to be. Your wife needs to know that you have compassion, not just somebody who can just lay down the law. I’m the head of my home.

You do what I say do. God put me in charge. Now that’ll work good for about five minutes. But don’t go to sleep at night. Don’t eat. Kind of like I mentioned before. I was talking to him on a Wednesday night and I said, I have developed an anti-aging medicine. It’s a little pill and all you do is, is fill with arsenic. And if you take it with a glass of water, it’ll, it’ll be, it’s a sure cure for anti-aging.

You won’t, you won’t get older. But you know, this one woman she did she went to the pharmacy and she told the pharmacy she says I need some cyanide He said, what do you want it for? She says, I want to kill my husband. He says, lady, I can’t give you any cyanide. I lose my license and that’s wrong. Absolutely not. I will not. Absolutely not. So she pulled out a picture and she showed it to him. It was her husband, his wife.

And he stared at it for a minute. He says, I didn’t know you had a prescription. But get to a strong marriage. Must have mutual. understanding. Try to understand your husband. Try to understand the wife. Understand that they don’t always understand. If you can understand that. They don’t always get it. And they don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say. And that’s why when you get angry sometimes you say things you shouldn’t say. And you think things you shouldn’t think.

And you can accuse when you shouldn’t and it must have mutual adjustments. You see, there’s the motor and there’s the tires. But you got to have a transmission. And your transmission is learning how to shift gears. You can’t always go the same speed, especially when I told you before, if you kind of yoked together a racehorse and a donkey, you know you got problems. And there’s a lot of marriages where there’s a racehorse and a donkey. It could be the man in the womb, he puts everyone, he doesn’t matter.

But now the racehorse wants to go and the donkey does stubborn. Have you married somebody that’s stubborn? Just plain stubborn. And you think you just want to get a two before and put it over to your head just to get your attention. Sometimes one of them’s like that. So you’ve got to learn how to adjust. You know, you get a long two before or a short two before. You just gotta learn how to deal with each other and forgive one another and maybe you don’t get to go as fast as you want to But listen the important thing is to get wherever you’re going together You’re gonna climb some mountains.

There’s gonna be a lot of boulders in the way the boulders are not your problem You go around boulders. It’s the loose gravel that causes you to lose your footing It’s not gonna be big thing. It’s the little bitty things that just irritates you See, the man should find out what irritates his wife and then do it. No, and avoid it. Some of you have learned each other and then you do it just out of meanness. Don’t be mean to one another.

Be kind. Be forgiving. The Bible tells us that the wife is to learn from older women on how to love their husbands and not had a woman tell me one time. But it doesn’t say in the Bible, wives love your husbands. But it does say wives submit yourself to your husband. Well, I don’t like that. The Bible does say to love one another. If that person is a Christian, are you obligated to love your husband? If your husband is a Christian?

Well, you should anyway. Love one another, set the right example and do what God wants you to do. There’s so much on this that I would love to say. I found, men, I would just have a marriage seminar and just talk to some people about some of these things. Because there’s so much. And because I love people and I love families. I love the kids. I want God’s will to be done in the lives of every family. Because there’s no such thing as a strong family without strong individuals in the family.

And I had a man tell me one time, he says, my wife and I, he says, he was a pastor of a church. And he was always busy, always, but he never had any time for his wife. He didn’t have any time for the wife, had a couple of boys. And she says, honey, I need to talk to you. Well, I ain’t got time right now. Honey, I need to talk. I ain’t got time right now. He never had time for her.

Didn’t have time for the kids. He was always going, going, going, going, going. In the ministry, the ministry. Okay, ministry. And she says, I want to have a word with you. And he says, honey, you know that the ministry means so much to me. And she pointed her thing red him and she says, without me, you don’t have a ministry.

It wasn’t long before he didn’t have a ministry. She left him with the kids and it cost him. You see, you can’t make them because people want to know if they judge the pastor. Since you’ve been here, isn’t it true that you judge me a little bit by how my wife is? Good or bad, you still do it. Some of you’ve seen my kids. You’ll judge me by my kids. Now I’ll say, you’re gonna do that. Because they really messed up.

They’re gonna buy me. But we do it. Your home will be judged by the countenance of your wife. Love your wife. You better treat her right. And whenever she’s disturbed about thing, you better listen. Better listen. Better listen. Without her, you won’t have to. have a ministry. For her, you won’t have a home. She is important. Husband, love your wives. Wives, love your husbands. God says you need each other. You are made for each other. It’s so important. Look up here.

This hand represents you and me and the wallet represents sin. We all have sin up on us. Now God says for us to go to heaven, we have to be perfect and none of us are perfect. We’re all sinners. And the wages, eternal separation from God and hell. And God says that we cannot earn eternal life. We cannot work our way to heaven. God says that we have all sinned. Everybody’s in the same boat. They’re by struggling. Most families are struggling.

Husband their wife, the kids, grandkids. There’s always a battle going on. You’re always fighting and struggling. But at least do it together. And then whenever you get on up there in age, and you say, like, it’s no joy in getting to the top of the mountain when there’s nobody to share the joy with. It’s so good when my wife and I, we sit down and we see some of the people that we’ve ministered to over the years, and we know the price that we paid, what it cost us, and to reminisce.

So do you remember this? Remember that? Remember that? Remember that? And we’ve had some hard times, but we’ve gone through them, that we’re going to them together. And we didn’t always understand everything, but God is a good God and God will walk you through it. But love your husband, love your wives and do right. Now, this hand represents Jesus Christ. He’s the Lord God in the place. He came into the world because he loves us. Now, he don’t like what we do wrong.

And everybody does. Everybody’s the center. And the Bible says that our sins separates us from God. So Jesus Christ took the sin, paid for it on the cross, came back from the dead and said, If we believe he did for us, he would put that payment account. We get to go to heaven on what he did. Best news in all the world. No tricks to it. Let’s pray, shall we? Every headbound, every eye closed, and no one looking around.

If you’re here this morning, you never trusted Christ as your savior. Would you just right now talk to the Lord and say something like this, Lord? I know I’m a sinner. I believe Christ died, paid for my sins. And right now, I’m going to trust him to take me to heaven whenever I die. Friends, if you’ve never done that, do it right now. God loves you so much. And I’m going to ask you if you will, just to slip you in it very quickly and butter up back down.

That means, yes, I will accept Jesus Christ as my Savior and praise you. I like you to pray for me. It wasn’t at all. It wasn’t at all. You that have trusted Christ as your Savior and God’s child, let me encourage each one of you. Love your wives. Love your wives. Let those children know that they have a good mother, a good mother. You praise your wife, compliment your wife.

Never let the kids hear you say anything detrimental about the other. It’s not wise. Our Father, we thank You so much for this time together. Bless each one for being here. And give us a good day. In Christ and we pray, Amen. You’ve been listening to Bibleline, a teaching ministry of Calvary Community Church in Tampa, Florida with Dr. Ralph Arnold. We pray that you were blessed by today’s message. If you have enjoyed our commitment to the clear gospel of Jesus Christ, you can reach Bibleline and pledge your support to keep us on the air in your area by dialing tool free.

1-800-576-3771. That’s 1-800-576-3771. To listen to today’s message again or to obtain a free download of any of our Bibleline programs, just go to our homepage at BibleLineMinistries.org and click on the radio broadcast link. If you are in the area, we welcome you to visit us. The address for Calvary Community Church is 4811 George Road, Tampa, Florida, 33634. Our Sunday morning services begin at 10-30 and at 6 o’clock on Sunday evening. Live broadcast of our services may be seen by clicking on the Calvary Community Church link at at BibleLineMinistries.org.

Thanks for joining us on Bibleline, and now a closing thought from Pastor Arnold. Friend, one day it will happen. The trumpet will sound and we will be changed. Caught up to meet the Lord in the air. So live today and every day, believing that the Lord is coming soon and just keep coming soon.