Bibleline Radio Show – 2016-02-12 – Marriage – A Divine Institution
Transcription:
This transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.
Bibleline Bibleline, here God’s word on Bibleline, here God’s truth on Bibleline. Welcome to Bibleline with Dr. Ralph Yankee Arnold, pastor of Calvary Community Church in Tampa, Florida. Clearly declaring the gospel of Jesus Christ through the radio and the internet. Your regular prayers and monthly support make it possible for Bibleline to continue on the You can reach us toll-free at 1-800-576-3771. Online donations may be made by clicking on the donations link on the BibleLineMinistries.org homepage. We pray that you will enjoy our commitment to the clear gospel of Jesus Christ and that today’s message will be a blessing to you and your family.
Once you take your Bible and turn to the book of Genesis, the book of Genesis, in chapter 2, Genesis chapter 2, We need to understand who in the world designed the home. Who designed it? You have to understand the purpose of the home in order to be the right kind of a father or right kind of a husband, the right kind of a mother, the right kind of a wife. You understand it from God’s point of view. So the best way to do that, of course, to get back to basis, you’ve got to go back to the beginning.
So here in the book of Genesis in chapter 2, I want you to look in verse 8, and the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed. Before God made a man, He made a perfect environment and put him in it. I like that. Now look there in verse 16, and the Lord God commanded the man-sane of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat.” Isn’t that great? But he says in verse 17, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil thou shalt not eat of it.
For in the day that thou eat is there thou shalt surely die. So there’s one that you’re not supposed to do. Now look there in verse 18. Verse 18 says, and the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. Now, who said that? God said that. God said it is not good that man should be alone. So he made him a golf club. That’s not in your Bible? It didn’t say that. God gave him a job.
He didn’t do that anyway. But he said, I will make him and help me for him. In other words, like God made a man, but was he finished? Or was he complete? Some people have problem with the word complete and finished. Is it the same thing to be complete? Is to be finished? If it’s finished, it’s complete. If it’s complete, it’s finished. Well, there is a slight difference. For example, if a man marries the right woman, he is complete.
She is called a completer. She completes the man. But if he marries the wrong woman, he’s finished. If she catches the right man with the wrong woman, he’s completely finished. Now some of y’all are not going to go any further today. You’re going to stay right there and think about what I’ve just said. But now look down in verse 20. And Adam gave names to all cattle, to all the file of the year, and to every beast of the field.
But for Adam, there was not found unhelp me for him. Now I want you to understand, this is somebody to help to meet the needs of the man. God made the man first. Now I know I’ve had women tell me, he said, yeah, but he had some practice and look what he did when he made the woman. Okay. So there was no help meet for him, someone to help meet his need. So the Lord caused him to go to sleep, anesthesia.
And God performed surgery and he took a rib and God made a woman. And look what happened. In verse 21, and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead of the rod. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man. God brought the woman to the man. Now, who made the man?
God, who made the woman? God, who brought them together. God. Now, that’s the way that God did it in the very beginning. This was all God’s plan. Man did not design this. Woman, you did not design this. God did that. And so he says in verse 23, and Adam says, this is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, in verse 24, very important. shall a man leave his father and his mother, cleave unto his wife, and they too become one flesh.
And man, woman, get married, become one, and there’s a child. Two became one. Now we’re one in marriage, but we’re also to be one in purpose. And the purpose is to find out what does God say and what does God want. So marriage is a divine institution. And I believe that the best thing that children can ever see about their mother is that their mother is loved and treated right by daddy. That is the stability of a home. The home should be a place of peace and joy and happiness, believe it or not.
Now we know that it’s not always the case, but it should be. The harmony of God, the Father, God, the Son, and God, the Holy Spirit should be the same harmony that’s there with the mom, the dad, and the kids. It should be a little bit of heaven on earth, but you and I, a lot of times, home is a little hell on earth. That’s not the way God planned it. That’s not the way God designed it. It’s because sin has entered in, and that’s not the way God wants it to be.
So the divine institution of the home of marriage itself, it provides a basis and order for the human race. And it’s important because you see there are things that God has given to us that He wants us to do to fulfill. We can either be constructive or destructive. Without God, everything falls apart. Without the Lord, you as an individual are very corrupt. You will go your own way. Marriages go their own way. But if we did what God says to, everything is constructive.
Everything builds. Everything works. God’s way. But you see, we don’t want to do things God’s way. I had people that told me that we want to get married. And it came down to just about, I think, a month before they were to get married. The girl, she leans over the desk and she says, Pastor, when you do the vows, would you leave the word obey out? I says, what? She says, would you leave the word obey out? I says, no, ma’am, I will not.
And if you won’t obey him, I won’t marry y’all. They had to get somebody else. If a woman isn’t willing to do her role that God gave to her, don’t marry the man. Let him find someone who will. Don’t ruin your life and his. It won’t work. So what equal partners? It will not work that way. It’s not the way God designed it. God set up things that will work God’s way. And sometimes I think the children are ruined because they don’t see the peace, the joy, the harmony between the mom and the dad, and it should be there.
This is how they learn. But the Word of God has laid down a way that will work, and we need to understand it. It provides the boundaries for intimacy between the men and their boundaries. And those boundaries are very important. They’re boundaries that God has set, and He wants everyone to listen to what He has to say. to do so, there’s no guidelines and everything falls apart. A man, a woman that loves the Lord, it provides a stable environment for those kids.
Now, let me give you this, love is the foundation for marriage and must be the basic concept for marriage. The mental love attitude in marriage finds many areas of expressions such as our conversation, our graciousness, our companionship, and our physical intimacy. It’s because of love. For example, a man and a woman, they can be married in the physical relationship. But not be happy because the love’s not there. Sin abounds when love waxes cold. There’s two kinds of wars that we are accustomed to.
It’s called the hot war and the cold war. The hot war is when things are not exactly right and so we just verbally, we holler, yell, and shout and threaten and all that. All right, that’s a hot war. You see what they don’t last? very long and I get it off my chest and I feel so much better. Oh yeah shotgun blast don’t last long either but it sure does a lot of damage. Now there’s the other kind it’s the the silent treatment the Cold War.
We often talk about the Cold War we had with Russia but there’s a lot of Cold War is going in a lot of homes. If Cold War is where they just don’t speak to each other or one don’t speak to the just give the Cold treatment. Like I didn’t hear you. I don’t even see you. And you become bitter and critical on everything that said and done. And then they look for every flaw. The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins.
I’ve told people to look, you don’t look and see with both eyes. Just see with one eye. Here with one ear. Don’t always be looking for everything that can go wrong. Don’t look for all the faults and the flaws. A man marries a woman because of the way she is. And he wants her just like that to stay. Don’t change. And she marries him. But I’ll change him the way I want him. And it doesn’t work. You accept each other the way they are.
Remember the vow when you took those vows for better or for. And a lot of time it gets worse. But what was the vow? What did you promise? I love you and I’ll honor you until death do us part for better or for worse, richer or for poor. So how many wives can you have? 16, for rich, for poor, for six, for just one. One will do. But it’s for better or for worse, richer or for poor, sickness and in health.
You see those are things that we say and we promise God is the one who is watching over every marriage He knows everyone who’s vowed and promised and the husband needs to treat the wife The way he’s supposed to treat the wife Because the kids need to see how they’re supposed to treat their wife when they get married By watching how daddy treats his wife And that little girl, she needs to know how mama obeys her husband so that when she gets married she don’t know how she’s pulled the tree to her husband.
But see, if all they see is hollerin’ the yellin’ and fightin’ and fumin’ and fussin’ and all the rest of them, you’re training them, that’s how you solve your problems. They’re learning from you. Now I believe that God has placed in the Word of God. The man is to be the head of the body. See, I’ve only got one body up here. Only got one head. Now if I had two heads, I’d be a freak. Marriage only has one head.
God holds the head, the man, is the head of the home, responsible for the home. Your wife is a mirror or a reflection of how you’re doing. If she’s not happy, the man needs to look in the mirror. He got to figure out how to meet not only the physical needs, material needs, financial needs, but the spiritual needs of the wife. of the wife because if she’s not happy, he won’t be happy. Nobody’s going to be happy because she is the mirror, the reflection of the harmony, the peace, the joy, the love of the home.
She is what reflects to others his leadership and her submissive. So it goes, but wait, so the man has got to try to make sure that when you choose to marry somebody, you choose somebody that knows the Lord and wants to serve the Lord because if she doesn’t want to serve the Lord she’s not going to make a good wife in yielding and understand that. If for example you want to honor the Lord then the woman must honor her head.
She must honor her husband. She must be obedient to her husband. Now I’m not talking about where the man gets out the bull with and he whips. I’m the boss. I’m the dictator. Everybody does what I say. If you have to do that you’re not fit to lead. If you can’t lead by loving them, you’re not fit to lead. And I can see why a lot of women rebel against their husbands because their husbands aren’t fit. They’re not obeying the head over them, which is Christ.
Because they’re supposed to set the right example in forgiveness and compassion and mercy and understanding. Majority of men do not understand their wives. They don’t know why they do what they do. And it’s hard, I know. But it takes the grace of God not to see everything, not to hear everything. And there’s times when a woman’s moves can change like, that. No cause for it whatsoever or no man has ever found the cause. But you got to understand, you’re supposed to be rock solid.
You don’t get over excited and you don’t go around greatly depressed. A man who’s always depressed, always complaining, always down in the dumps is not going to be a good example to anybody. You’re supposed to have your confidence in the Lord and you know God is going to walk you through whatever it might be. Whatever the cares may be and you trust the Lord for that. Think of it by looking in the book of Romans in chapter 12. Romans in chapter 12, we often use this verse for, you know, trying to challenge, motivate somebody to serve the Lord.
But I want you to look at it from a little different point of view. Romans chapter 12 and look there in verse Romans chapter 12 verse 1, where it says, I beseech you, therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, wholly acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. Now look in verse 2, if you are a woman, I want you to read this verse, and if you’re a man, I want you to read this verse, because there’s something in here for both, where he says, be not conformed to this world.
That means man or the wife to be conformed to this world. God wants the man and God wants the wife to be conformed to the word. So women, when you conform yourself to the word of God, you will learn to be obedient to God. And if you’re obedient to God, you have to submit yourself to the husband that you married. You say, well, you ought to see what I married. Yeah, I know. I’ve seen a lot of that. Well, I just don’t trust his judgment.
Well, I can say who we married. It’s hard to trust somebody that you don’t love. And so a man and a woman needs to understand, look, can God change both of you? It’s not the job of the man or the woman that change each other, but both should be conformed or changed as you grow in the Lord. And if you grow in the Lord, you’ll grow closer to each other. My wife and I’ll be celebrating our 51st anniversary in another month.
51, that’s not forever I know, but it’s still a long time, been a long time. You have a wife, you have a husband, love each other, give each other. Neither one of your perfect, are you? It’s so easy to see the wrong and everybody else and not in ourselves. And the man doesn’t change the wife, he changes himself. If he will change himself, God can change that woman. All you do is just do right and trust the Lord and make sure you don’t try to give the other person reasons not to bend or to yield to the Lord.
And you pray, pray all the time, pray. Now look what he says here, be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove or discover what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of the husband is. The will of God but is for the husband and is for the wife. Did you know that there is a perfect will of God for the husband and for the wife? God has laid down the roles and we’re like playing a part.
God says, now, man, this is what you’re to do and why? That this is what you’re supposed to do. And if both will do what God says do, then you will be happier and you can learn to love each other and things can grow. Things can be changed. Do things God’s way. Trust Him. Your husband is not God, he’s just a man and he makes mistakes. You knew that before you married him. Didn’t you? You didn’t. You were naive.
You know he does things wrong, but you loved him so much and they say love is blind yet, but marriage is a eye-opener. So your eyes have now been opened and now you see better. If I don’t own this, okay, you didn’t. But if you knew what God’s word says, can God Heal and forgive and go through. Marriage is a commitment to each other. It’s not based upon feelings. Feelings come and go. You know, today I feel like I’m married.
Well tomorrow morning I go, you know, I don’t feel like I’m married today. Well, I am. My wife will let me know that I am. And they are very sensitive. A woman likes security. A man sometimes doesn’t think the same way that a woman does. A woman And once they hear the words, I love you. She wants to be touched. She wants to be praised. Big, you know, appreciate it. A man can go, I can go six months and not have to worry about it.
He don’t say anything. I told you I love you when I married you. If I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know. But a woman wants to hear it. You say, well, you know, give them flowers. That’s not something I used to do. I gave her some flowers one time and she took the thing and she put it in a book and she had it there for about 20 years. And she opened it up and then she said, yeah, there’s that flower you gave me 20 years ago.
I said, well, whenever you get rid of that one, I’ll get you another one. One day I really shocked her. I got her 42 roses on our 42nd anniversary, 42 roses, $1.42. I thought she was worth it. So you know there’s things that a woman likes and she likes it when other women like what the husband did for her. They like to break. But I’ve never asked my wife to preach for me and so I told her don’t ask me to cook for you.
So when she gets not to feeling good I just take her out to eat. When she gets really sick and all the dishes start, I said don’t you worry about one of those dishes. I said, they can just wait till you get well. Now some of you think I’m bad, I’m bad. There’s no woman that wants a husband like that. But you see, you got to accept the person with some of their flaws. I’ve got a couple flaws. And I haven’t found any in her.
You see, there’s a verse in the Bible. If you will obey this verse in the Bible, it will add to the happiness of this life. And it’s in the Old Testament, my wife told me all about it. It’s in the Hebrew. So husbands obey your wives and all things for this is right. Now I’ve never found that verse because she said it’s in there. But you really in sincerity, you should, husbands, study the word of God and let God conform you to be the kind of a husband you ought to be.
Your wife needs to know that you have compassion, not just somebody who can just lay down the law. I’m the head of my home. You do what I say do. God put me in charge. Now that’ll work good for about five minutes, but don’t go to sleep at night. Don’t eat! But you know, this one woman, she did. She went to the pharmacy and she told the pharmacy, she says, I need some cyanide. And he said, what do you want it for?
She says, I want to kill my husband. He says, lady, I can’t give you any cyanide. I lose my license and that’s wrong. not. I will not, absolutely not.” So she pulled out a picture and she showed it to him. It was her husband, his wife. And he stared at it for a minute. He said, I didn’t know you I didn’t know the question. I didn’t know you had a prescription. But get to a strong marriage. Must have mutual understanding.
Try to understand your husband. your husband. Try to understand the wife. Understand that they don’t always understand. They don’t always get it. And they don’t always say what they mean, or mean what they say. And that’s why when you get angry sometime, you say things you shouldn’t say. And you think things you shouldn’t think. And you can accuse us when you shouldn’t. And it must have mutual adjustments. You see, there’s the motor and there’s the tires. But you gotta have a transmission.
And your transmission is learning how to shift gears. You can’t always go the same speed, especially when I told you before, if you kind of yoked together a racehorse and a donkey, you know you got problems. And there’s a lot of marriages where there’s a racehorse and a donkey. It could be the man in the woman in which everyone, they don’t matter. But now the racehorse wants to go and the donkey does. Stubborn, have you married somebody that’s stubborn?
Just plain stubborn. Sometimes one of them’s like that. So you gotta learn how to adjust. You know, you get a long two before or a short two before. You know, you just gotta learn how to deal with each other and forgive one another and maybe you don’t get to go as fast as you want to. But listen, the important thing is to get wherever you’re going together. You’re gonna climb some mountains. There’s gonna be a lot of boulders in the way.
The boulders are not your problem. You can go around boulders. It’s the loose, because you lose your footing. It’s not going to be big, think. It’s the little bitty things that just irritate you. See, the man should find out what irritates his wife and then do it. No, and avoid it. Some of you have learned each other, and then you do it just out of meanness. Don’t be mean to one another. Be kind. Be forgiving. The Bible tells us that the wife is to learn from older women.
women on how to love their husbands and not had a woman tell me what that what it doesn’t say in the Bible wife love your husbands but it does say wives submit yourself to your husband well I don’t like that the Bible does say to love one another if that person is a Christian are you obligated to love your husband if your husband is a Christian well you should anyway love one another set the right example and do what God wants you to do.
There’s so much on this that I would love to say. I thought, men, I would just have a marriage seminar and just talk to some people about some of these things because there’s so much. And because I love people and I love families, I love the kids. I want God’s will to be done in the lives of every family because there’s no such thing as a strong family without strong individuals in the family. And I had a man tell me one time he was a pastor of a church.
And he was always busy, always, but he never had any time for his wife. He didn’t have any time for the wife. He had a couple of boys. And she says, honey, I need to talk to you. Well, I ain’t got time right now. Honey, I need to talk. I ain’t got time right now. He never had time for her. Didn’t have time for the kids. He was always going, going, going, going. In the ministry, the ministry. And she says, I want to have a word with you.
And he says, honey, you know that the ministry means so much to me. And she pointed her thing red him. And she says, without me, you don’t have a ministry. It wasn’t long before he didn’t have a ministry. She left him with the kids and it cost him. You see, since you’ve been here, isn’t it true that you judge me a little bit by how my wife is? Good or bad, you still do it. Some of you have seen my kids.
You’ll judge me by my kids. Now I say, you’re gonna do that. You’ll say, really mess up. Then what about me? But we do it. Your home will be judged by the countenance of your wife. Love your wife. Better treat her right. And whenever she’s disturbed about thing, you better listen. by the listen. Without her you won’t have a ministry. Without her you won’t have a home. She is important. Husband love your wives. Wives love your husbands. God says you need each other.
You are made for each other. It’s so important. Hello, this is Peter Amato from Bibleline. We hope you’ve enjoyed the message from Dr. Arnold and pray that Bibleline is helping you to grow in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. And thanks for your donations and support of Bibleline, we’d like to send Dr. Arnold’s complete teaching on the book of Revelation. Compiled on one disc are 27 lessons in MP3 format of all 22 chapters of the Revelation of Jesus Christ that was given to the Apostle John.
Dr. Arnold provides clear insight and understanding to this often misunderstood book and for a donation in any amount, we’d like to send this gift to you today. You may contact us by calling 1-800-576-3771, or by mail to 4811 George Road Tampa, Florida, 336-34, and don’t forget to include your mailing address as well. Once again, thank you for supporting Bibleline, and may God richly bless you. Thanks for joining us on Bibleline. If you are in the area, we welcome you to visit us.
The address for Calvary Community Church is 4811 George Road, Tampa, Florida, 33634. And now, a closing thought from Pastor Arnold. Friend, one day it will happen, the trumpet will sound and we will be changed. Caught up to meet the Lord in the air. So live today and every day. Believe in that the Lord is coming soon and just keep looking up.
